


Playing House

by Green_Sphynx



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Fake Marriage, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Undercover, being Extra Gay, smidgen of serious angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 04:31:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green_Sphynx/pseuds/Green_Sphynx
Summary: Len and Mick have to pose as an over the top gay couple to determine where the most bigoted people in a town are, to track down a cult. It was all Sara's idea and Mick is not happy at all.This is basically the episode of Ray and Kendra posing as a married couple, but redone for ColdWave, because I’m a self-indulgent little shit like that.





	Playing House

**Author's Note:**

> A fanfic for ColdWave Winter Week 2018  
> 21st Dec - Fake Marriage (with various winter themes dotted throughout)
> 
> **Warning:** Harsh homophobic language

"This is a bad idea."

"Agreed. I would never marry a man who would just kick up his feet and drink beer while I slaved in the kitchen."

Mick gave Len a flat look over the lip of his beer bottle, but the fact that Len was just tying an offensively flowery apron around his middle kind of did make his point. Mick at least took his dirty boots off the coffee table in response.

"It will be fine as long as you can behave yourself in front of the neighbours," Len finally added. "We don't have to play this farce for very long, and it's more comfortable than some stake-outs we've done for jobs." He gestured at the couch Mick was on dismissively before turning to rummage through the kitchen cupboards for the materials he'd need for a casserole. Something to say hello to the neighbours to in the most offensively normal way. Once they had sifted the true bigots from the lesser bigots they could start sneaking into their homes to find more info on this cult they were looking into.

Why Sara decided he and Mick had to play the role of the cay couple specifically was a bit of a mystery though. Mick was about as subtle as a sledgehammer and just as good an actor.

Then again, they were supposed to be offensively gay in this backwards town, and Mick was definitely good at being offensive. The gay part would be filled by Len's acting and putting the right - the _wrong_ \- clothes on Mick. Maybe Gideon could fabricate him a nice rainbow shirt. Or better, an ugly Christmas sweater with kissing gays on it.

No bigoted cultist in this town would be able to hide their flinch when being confronted with that on their porch.

Len clicked his comms to give Gideon instructions on the sweaters he wanted her to make him and Mick, ignoring Micks grumbled complaints in the background and happily mixing ingredients for his casserole. He was going to cut stars from carrots and other veggies to make it Christmas-y. He was going to be so domestic it would _hurt_ the people here to know he was gay.

Or pretended to be gay.

Okay he was gay, but he was going to pretend to be a whole lot gayer than what he was.

Assuming Mick would even cooperate, of course. Mick was definitely not charmed by the facade they had to put up, complaining every step of the way. Len had to threaten to pull the cold gun on Mick to get him into the terrifying sweater and literally needed to push him out of their temporary but sensible family house so they could go meet the neighbours with Len's overly festive casserole.

It was snowing out so Mick complained about that _too_ , refusing to carry the casserole for Len for even a second so Len might lock up. Len had to hold back - now they were actually outside they couldn't be seen arguing, they were supposed to be a perfectly happy and very gay couple despite Mick's insistence that they couldn't (couldn't be or couldn't pretend, Len didn't know). 

In hindsight it worked in their advantage, because it gave Ray the time to inform Len that he _shouldn't_ lock the door. This wasn't the kind of town. Len should really have known that.

"Now be nice to the neighbours, Mick," Len warned carefully. "I'll do the sucking up; you just have to stand there and smile." Which sounded like a disastrous set-up, Mick behind him _smiling_ at people. "And polite answers if they address you directly."

Mick huffed, not even deigning _Len_ with a proper answer at this point. He had to be really pissed. 

"I can't believe you're being such a brat over this, Mick," Len lectured as they walked up the path to their neighbours' door - a pretty tiled path made slippery by wet snow. "We've done worse. Pretended to be worse. Is it that you don't want to be with me out in the open or something? I thought we were past that stage of homophobia, between the two of us."

"We are," Mick groused, and Len counted the verbal response as a victory. He had come out to Mick ages ago and Mick had never acted weird about it, outside the occasional teasing. He knew calling Mick out on it would work.

"Then what is it?"

They stopped in front of the door of the people they had to trick into believing they were very gay and very domestic. The hideous sweater did little to alleviate the look on Mick's face, though.

"Just. Pretending to be your husband." Mick was grumbling into his scarf and Len had barely made out his words at all. But he made out enough of them to feel hurt, to feel something crack inside of him.

Had Len been a lesser man he would be tearing up right now. But that sort of behaviour would be saved for the people of this town rather than just Mick.

Len harrumphed softly, pretending not to be hurt about Mick having _so much trouble_ pretending to be married to him, and turned to ring the doorbell. "Remember the smile. And be polite."

Mick grumbled without words, but it was an affirmative. Almost enough to make Len hope he would actually do it.

The door swung open to show them the most perfect little housewife in a long skirt and an unblemished white apron, together with her good and sensible husband with his porn 'stache and slick hair. Len put up his biggest, fakest smile.

"Hiiii," he drawled lightly, hitching his tone up several tones of gay. "We are your new neighbours and we just wanted to come say hello!" He deposited the casserole in the housewife's hands and then quickly snaked his arm around Mick's waist to look as married as he could. "I'm Len, and this is Mick. He looks angry but don't worry, he's a big softie on the inside."

"You're -oh, how unexpected." The wife looked positively flustered, but the husband's thick eyebrows had pinched together immediately. Still, it was the wife who asked. "Are you, like, _together_?"

"Of course we are," Len simpered, stretching his hand out for her to see they were (supposedly) married. "Micky is the best husband I could've wished for!"

There was a beat of tense silence and then the husband spoke up. "That is the most _disgusting_ joke I've ever heard of. You should be _ashamed_ of yourselves."

Len tensed up despite himself. Their marriage may be fake, and Mick may be hating to have to pretend to be part of it, but Len was _definitely_ gay and this man was so convicted in his disgust, it hit him harder than the Flash knocking him out at full speed. He was a good actor when needed, but he wasn't entirely sure if his smile didn't falter at the pure, unadulterated anger in the man's voice.

Like a knife in the gut, twisted by the expression on the man's face.

Len should've been used to this by now. Len had been _expecting_ this reaction. This is why they were here in the first place.

And yet.

And yet, it was Mick who came to his rescue in the moment he faltered, hurt and taken aback by the man's honest and _horrible_ response. Mick, who just told him he hated pretending to be Len's husband. Mick, who must've felt how Len tensed up against him at the husband's cutting words.

And Mick - his partner and best friend who had never judged his sexual orientation, but hadn't ever given the impression to be anything other than straight either - turned towards him and wrapped Len up in a tight, one-armed hug to press a hard kiss to his lips.

Len was always perfectly in control of himself, but right there, right then, something broke and left him completely confused on how to proceed from here. Because Mick's lips on his were hot despite the chilly air and the snow, and they were demanding despite Mick's professed reluctance to be with Len. There was something in that kiss that made Len's heart shatter on the floor between his feet, because it told him everything he needed to know about why Mick wouldn't want to pretend to be his husband. It told him exactly why Sara had decided they were prefect for this undercover job.

It was because Mick wanted to be more than partners just as much as Len wanted.

Mick kissed him with a passion that was nothing alike a dutiful kiss of _pretend_.

Len was left breathless, staring wide-eyed up at his supposed husband, _speechless_ in front of these strangers.

"Go fuck yourself," Mick told the man across of them with just as much contempt as the man had spoken to them moments earlier.

And with that Len found himself swirled around and marched back down the snowy path to their own front door, held close to Mick by a possessive arm.

He had a lot of questions, but he was too baffled to be anything aside from grateful now.

Maybe, just maybe, Sara might've had a very good point, assigning Len and Mick to this particular undercover job.


End file.
